so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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