he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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