My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
