I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
