he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
