YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
