Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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