I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
