yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
