My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
