Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

(1-604): View more from British Columbia

wtf you measured my hair?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages

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(416): View more from Ontario

Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.

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(630): View more from Illinois

My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'

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(514): View more from Quebec

It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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(513): View more from Ohio

You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together

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(303): View more from Colorado

like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad

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