only if we run a train.
done.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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