My sheets look like a crime scene.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
