kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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