3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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