i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
