who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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