Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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