so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
