I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
