Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
