What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
do herpes really smell.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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