sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
