so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just found a bag of teeth...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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