i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize