She said her name was "party"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize