she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
