i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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