Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
