i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize