He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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