I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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