I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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