Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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