Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
