I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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