Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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