I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
