so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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