There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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