Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
