have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
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I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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