Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
