no, he came in my armpit
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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