Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.

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(949): View more from California

Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter

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(509): View more from Washington

Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.

(406): View more from Montana

Hospital.

(509): View more from Washington

I am invincible.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.

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(586): View more from Michigan

We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1

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(239): View more from Florida

Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs

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