They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
