My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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