Where did you get a picture of my penis
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
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do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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