she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
