I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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