so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
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The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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