and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
