standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
