It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
