this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
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Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.