Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize