we're blogging at a bar
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!