HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.