And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners