heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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