1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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