My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
