Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize