you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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