I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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