Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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