I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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