i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
