There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
