We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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