you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
