do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
