Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
