Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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